


The Thing

by madwriter223



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Gone Wild, Humor, Kirk is not Amused, M/M, Science Experiments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-14
Updated: 2015-01-14
Packaged: 2018-03-07 14:03:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3175550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madwriter223/pseuds/madwriter223
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Working in the Science Department was a dream come true. This, unfortunately, was not her day. At all. Commander Spock was going to kill her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Thing

Ensign Dirianna whimpered as she watched her accidental creation eat through the wall. It had quite an appetite – it chewed up a rather sizeable hole in a manner of moments. Then it slimed down the corridor, waving its tentacles around.

By the Greater Gods, Commander Spock was going to kill her.

*~*

Commander Spock was furious, she could tell. His eyebrow was up, and he was staring at her all hard like and everything. She dropped her gaze to the floor, shuffling her feet in embarrassment.

“You continued the genetic experiment I specifically forbade you from doing and accidentally created a gelatinous blob which seems to be able to eat through walls and grow tentacles at will?” The Commander repeated her report slowly, and his intense stare got way more intense.

Which was bad.

“Yes, sir.” Dirianna muttered dejectedly, fidgeting slightly.

“And instead trying to contain it, you allowed it to leave the labs and have lost it 'somewhere' on Deck 5?”

“Yes.” This was not her day.

Commander Spock closed his eyes briefly, then activated his comm unit. “Captain. There is a situation I believe you should know about.”

Dirianna winced. And now the Captain was involved. Great.

*~*

Kirk blinked slowly, staring at his First Office. “You for serious?”

“I am indeed, Captain.”

“And it's all her fault.” He pointed at Dirianna.

“Affirmative.” Commander Spock nodded.

The Captain turned to stare at her, and she really wished she had listened to her mother and became a hair dresser.

The bridge comm unit activated suddenly. “Captain, this is Engineering.” 

“Not the best of times, Scotty.” The Captain answered, still staring at her. Good thing he wasn't as adept at intense stares as her Commander, or she was pretty sure she'd have spontaneously combusted by now.

“Oh, I think you will be wanting to see this.” Oh, no.

*~*

Doctor McCoy scratched his head, staring. “Anyone want to tell me what the Hell that thing is doing?”

Commander Spock turned to her. “Ensign, did you include Sectimian DNA in your experiment?”

She looked up from the floor and looked up at him. “Yes.”

“And did you manage to successfully combine it with Arcturic DNA?”

“Yes.” She was quite proud of that, actually. It had taken a lot of work to achieve.

“Then you have created a metal based life-form suffering from a chronic mating season.”

Okay, not so proud now.

“That's great, Spock. But what does that got to do with... _this_?” The Captain asked, walking closer to the... thing. Yeah, she was calling it Thing.

Her Commander folded his arms behind his back. “It is attempting to mate with the wall, sir.” 

Oh, so that's why it was moving so strangely.

The Captain spluttered. “It's _WHAT_?!” He glared at Thing. “Stop _humping my ship_!!”

Thing twitched and grew about five new tentacles. It wrapped all of them around the Captain and started... groping him, that was the only way to call that. One wrapped itself around the Captain's face, another started carding through his hair, two more were petting an arm and a leg, and the last one slipped underneath the golden shirt.

“Spock?” The Captain asked, holding himself perfectly still. “Is this thing trying to mate with me now?”

“Negative, Captain. It only mates with metal-based creatures or metallic objects.”

“Umm... it's just really friendly?” Dirianna offered sheepishly.

The Captain glared at her, and she eep-ed, hiding behind her Commander. Yeah, she was pretty sure she was getting reassigned.

**Author's Note:**

> Written ages ago for the Crack Bingo challenge. The prompt was Tentacles (friendly).


End file.
